I got to TAU2 by chance. I saw a link on one of the websites. It was at the time when I felt very sad. My job was going very well and everything seemed great but I sat there and thought that over the last four years I only had several dates simply because I’m immersed in my work, I give it my all because I am lucky to do what I love. «Why not try it?» I thought to myself and registered on TAU2.
I immediately realised that the site is very serious about its goals. Idle people looking for some amusement can’t just browse it. To see what TAU2 does, I had to fill out a huge and detailed questionnaire myself. When I saw my profile page, my first impression was that everything is very well organised here. All those icons, hearts, profiles with photos — all those quickly made TAU2 stand out among all the other dating sites and that’s why I stayed here.
Just at this time I caught cold and took a week off work, and that was it, it got started. I immediately started getting lots of postcards and letters. I answered every one of them. If the sender didn’t seem interesting at all, I hinted that I was already communicating with someone else and was not available.
I was creative about filling out my profile
Many men told me that my profile stood out, that it was original, though from my point of view there was nothing original about it. Of course, I was creative about filling it out, but I was also reserved. The information has to be specific, so that the person reading it can form an impression about you and can see what kind of person you’re looking for.
In about four weeks I got into a correspondence with a man who was very interesting to me. We communicated for a long time, for about nine months, everything was pretty serious but in the end it didn’t work out. After that I returned to TAU2 and renewed my profile. There were several men with whom I communicated, in the end there was only one left — my husband.
This wasn’t a blind date
Paul wrote his first letter to me on December 26, on Christmas Day. Sometimes we joke that we were a present for each other. He had an ordinary profile, only his interests were described very clearly. He wrote that he had been to the CIS countries, he understood our culture and he was interested in it. He wrote that he speaks Polish a little bit and is looking for a genuine relationship. Everything was very restrained, like a real man should be. In my opinion, the photos were not the best ones, but something about him attracted my attention.
He immediately stood out because during all the time that we were communicating on TAU2 and even afterwards, in the beginning, I never heard from him any unreasonably sweet words, any compliments with a possible double meaning. He showed that he liked me and was interested in me, he asked me various questions. I didn’t have a feeling that it was merely a flirt on the internet without anything serious in mind. In this man I felt something different. I can’t say that we immediately fell in love madly but we were genuinely interested in each other as a person and this interest gradually grew.
We wrote to each other for three months, we talked a lot — several hours a day on Skype. We spoke English, I speak it fluently. Then Paul came to visit. There was a spark between us the moment we saw each other, but, I repeat it again, we had already got to know each other and this was not at all a first date with a stranger. It’s interesting that I was on a very tight schedule. By the time I got from Simferopol to Kiev and, not knowing my way about the city, got to the flat where we had planned to stay, I was almost late meeting him at the airport. I didn’t even have the time to get nervous about how the first meeting would go. But as soon as I saw him, my panic vanished, our hands touched and that was it. From that moment on, everything was very natural, without a slightest feeling of discomfort. Now I think about it and can’t believe it.
Every day something interesting happened
In three months he came again, then I went to spend my vacation in Britain. I had been there before, but anyway another country is a different culture, different traditions, different food and a different way of life. Every day there was something interesting, something that I could understand and something that I couldn’t understand. It didn’t cause any major problems for me. But, again, I speak English, otherwise, perhaps, it would have been more difficult.
I came back home to wrap things up and to quit my job, then went to Paul again. The first emotions had already calmed down and it was a chance to look at each other and to see whether I would be really able to feel at home in this country. In three months we went to the Ukraine to get married. At present Paul is back to Britain and I stayed to get the paperwork done. I have to pass an English language test and get a wife’s visa. This visa gives the right to work and I want very much to do what I love. I have already done some research and found out that this is really possible.
Paul’s parents met me very cordially and it’s also important. It’s very nice if the parents of both spouses provide financial and moral support. We lived in the house of his parents for a couple of months before moving to our own house: we have bought one in Yorkshire.
Patience and understanding are necessary
To those who are looking for their other half, I’d like to wish patience — be patient with yourself and be patient with your potential partner. If one is really looking for the other half, one has to be reasonably open and not to be in a hurry to come to any conclusions even if the communication is very interesting. That is, the relationship can evolve, but it can also lead nowhere. But perhaps, everything will turn out really well, there will be a happy ending — a wedding, children, etc. It’s necessary to have patience, to have understanding, to have wisdom. It’s very important to remember that this person is from another country, he has different habits. Even if he’s deliberately looking for a wife from a Slavic country and realises why we are so special, it’s still necessary to remember about the difference in the ways of life.
It’s very important to speak the language. It’s not just important, it’s paramount. To know the language a little bit, to use the translator while writing to each other (if you understand each other and this is enough for you) is great. But when it really comes to getting married and moving to another country, the language becomes extremely important to make life in the new place less stressful. Because most women there still look for work, for friends, they want to have a career and to become successful. It’s impossible to learn a language in a week. That’s why the earlier you start, the better. And for the women who are psychologically ready to marry a foreigner, it’s better to start learning a language right away, regardless of whether they have already found their man or not yet. You will find your man for sure. The most important thing is to speak the language.
People change, adapting to each other, it’s necessary to talk and to explain the things that are really important and also it’s necessary to listen to your partner. One shouldn’t be selfish, and when having a relationship with a foreigner, not being selfish becomes even more important if you want to have a happy union. But on the other hand, one shouldn’t sacrifice one’s own interests. Compromise and total submission, giving up one’s own opinions and interests, are two very different things. If you keep each other interested and are attentive to each other, there’s a chance not only to find but also to keep your happy union.
Iryna (Simferopol, Ukraine)
Irina is a dance teacher from the Crimea. Her future husband Paul, a salesman from Great Britain, wrote her the first letter on Christmas Eve. Since that time Irina and Paul are confident that they were a Xmas present for each other.