I Didn’t Expect To Get Married So Soon

Marina, a manager from Minsk, fell in love with Spain. She especially liked Barcelona, she was captivated by it at first sight. Marina had never thought that after her wedding she would live in Barcelona, but this is exactly what has happened. On TAU2 she met Placido, a businessman. He won her heart, they got married and have been living in Barcelona for almost three years now. Marina is very protective about her love story and even reluctant to show the photographs of her and Placido together.

I didn’t really mean to get married. My previous marriage was a difficult one. After getting the divorce, I started travelling a lot. I bought tours around Europe (I speak English fluently) and went to various countries until I ended up in Spain. When I got here, I fell in love with this country and started spending my vacation here every year, at various Spanish resorts, but always somewhere around Barcelona. I started learning Spanish immediately. I think it won’t do any good to have language practice only once a year. It’s necessary to look for some Spanish language websites and to communicate with people there. At first I practiced my Spanish and met people at other websites, then one of my friends told me about TAU2. At the time when I registered on TAU2 I was in love with Spain and didn’t have a boyfriend.

I immediately got letters from about ten men. But all of them were English speakers and I wasn’t interested. Spanish men on TAU2 were not particularly interested in me. Later I got into a correspondence with a man from Madrid who tried to win me over to the very last, but I almost immediately met my future husband.

Placido Looked Like A Mafioso

He just visited my profile. I was a bit dismayed when I saw his face: his sunglasses made him look like a Mafioso. But I looked at his other pictures and decided to give it a try. Anyway, I needed someone to communicate with. I chose a pretty postcard with a bench in a garden and wrote to him, ‘Let’s meet and get to know each other in this garden’. He replied to it straightaway and said that he had never expected to get my postcard and never hoped that such a beautiful woman would notice him.

I did have very beautiful pictures—this is very important. It’s the first thing that men pay attention to. But the pictures should be not just from a photo studio where you are made to look like a model. Pictures should reflect the reality, so that the man won’t get disappointed when meeting you in person.

Placido literally grasped me and started writing-writing-writing. We met on November 26 and November 30 is my birthday and I celebrated it at a Spanish restaurant. Placido liked it a lot that I’m interested in Spain. We exchanged the addresses and he started calling me, we talked on Skype. Placido helped me a lot with my Spanish, he didn’t speak any other language and at the time my Spanish wasn’t very good.

Placido Lost 17 Kilos To Win Me Over

On December 21 Placido already came to visit me. Later he told me that on TAU2 he had met a lot of girls and they all wanted him to invite them to come to Spain and to pay for their visit. As for me, when we started talking about meeting in person, I behaved differently. I simply had too much work at the time and couldn’t drop everything, so I told him, ‘Come to Minsk, if you like’. As soon as I said it, he called me the very next day and said that he was buying the ticket. That is, my invitation to come over for a visit was the decisive factor: I didn’t ask for the money, I wasn’t eager to go to Spain.

He brought a huge suitcase filled with food, presents for me and my son. And somehow everything went along naturally. I was who I was—at one’s own place the person is more transparent. One can’t say, ‘Oh, I’m so good at housekeeping!’, because it’s obvious how good one really is. Though I am indeed quite good at housekeeping, I can cook well, too, but I told him that in a new family I don’t want to be the cook, I’m tired of it. One shouldn’t lie, it’s necessary to be as natural as possible if one wants to find one’s other half. The more lies are made up, the worse the disappointment will be.

My husband says that when he saw me, he almost fainted because I was so beautiful. And I simply closed my eyes. I didn’t know how to react: I had never had a boyfriend who was so stout. I told to myself, ‘Well, you have invited this man to come over, you have seen his photos’. And he had written to me saying that he was overweight and very embarrassed by it. I had told him that losing weight was possible, but changing the personality was impossible. If one wants one’s body to slim down, it can be done, but as for the soul, no operation will work and no diet will help.

In three days I got used to him and from the very beginning I felt very comfortable in his company, but I decided to give us both the time and to see what would happen next. When he was leaving, he asked me if I was in a hurry to get married. I told him that I wasn’t, I was searching for the right man and he said that he wasn’t in a hurry either and we decided to spend the vacation together in six months. But as soon as he got to the airport, he called me and said, ‘I want you to become my wife’. In March, during the Easter holidays, he invited me to come over and have a look at his place, he proposed to me and put a ring on my finger—everything was the way it should be. But still I wasn’t ready. Even though I seemed to have everything I wanted: Spain, the man who was indeed divorced, a businessman, with a grown-up child. But to me it was still too fast and too early…

Placido lost 17 kilos. This was a very important factor which influenced my decision in his favour. I thought that this man had the willpower and truly loved me because a diet is a difficult thing, not every woman is capable of getting on a diet.

He asked me to just accept the ring and agreed to have the wedding in Belarus. He agreed to all my conditions. He proposed to me in a very beautiful place with a terrific sea view: ships and Barcelona in the background. In three months we got married.

Living In A Foreign Country Is Very Different From Just Visiting It

When I came to Barcelona, I already spoke Spanish, knew their way of life, their culture, their cuisine. I didn’t have a cultural shock like many people get. But it’s one thing to come for a visit. The country is beautiful, the climate is good, the food is tasty, the people are friendly, everything is fine. But once one starts living here, one sees a lot of drawbacks: few people here keep their word, few people are punctual, as for education, it’s a separate story.

At present I’m taking a course on tourism and help my husband with his business. In our situation there’s no need for me to look for a job in a hurry. In Europe there’s an economic crisis, it’s hard to find a job, the salaries are low, that’s why first of all I will finish the course and then we’ll see. If I can’t find a job, I’ll keep helping my husband with his business.

My piece of advice to women is, first of all, to learn the language of the country where you intend to go and to learn as much of it as possible at home. Then it will be much easier to adapt. Anyway, there will be a lot of little things that will be disappointing, revolting, painful. It’s like going through a meat grinder, that’s why it’s necessary to learn the language as best as you can.

Before moving to the new country, it’s necessary to do your best to learn the traditions of this country, its way of life. This will help you understand where you are going. And also try to visit that country several times to understand where you will live and what their life standard is. Also, don’t be shy to ask your future husband questions when you two decide to get married. Including the financial questions. How much money you will have, whether you’ll have to work or whether you can choose to work or not; if there are children, decide what you will do about them, it’s very important. It’s necessary to weigh everything, not just jump into a marriage as long as your husband is a foreigner. Here you will run into the same problems you have with our men.

Had I not married Placido straightaway, had I come to Spain and lived with him for six months to see how it would go, perhaps, I would have never married him because it was very hard. Both of us were grown-ups with our own habits and set in our ways, we had lived alone for quite a while and then… A strange, though a loved, person with his own ways and rules. A lot of times I had to be patient, to try to understand why my partner did or said that. Why is he sometimes so distant and unable to understand me? Woman’s wisdom helped me. Besides, being a very ambitious person, having quit a very good job in my country and being in love with my husband and with Spain, I thought that I wouldn’t give up so easily. I gave myself two years to get used to my husband and to adapt. Had it still been so hard, I wouldn’t have stayed here, wouldn’t have suffered any more, but would have gone back home, got my job back and continued to look for my other half. Time was passing and I didn’t even notice how I started making plans, getting ready to start the course and passed the exam for the driver’s licence.

Of course, I can’t say that everything is over and I’m totally Spanish now, but one thing I know for sure is that I have made the right choice when choosing my husband and the place to live.

Women should remember that they will build everything with their own hands. A relationship is a joint effort, but if one wants to be loved, one should take it in one’s own hands. If a man fell in love with the woman the way she was—with this slim figure, stunning looks, well manicured nails—then the woman should make the effort to stay this way, to be attractive and desired for her man.

Each woman is unique and beautiful in her own way and deserves to have the best. Just be patient while looking for you other half and believe that he is also looking for you.

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