TAU2 Blog » Just Married!

It was fate, there’s no other explanation…

Ludmyla (USA) — Tue, 24 Jan 2012 22:05:00 +0000

For almost a year now Lyudmila has been living in paradise. That’s what she says when asked whether she likes her new homeland and adds that, perhaps, this is because with the loved one even a tent becomes a palace. Lyudmila married Ethan, an American working for a medical company. They met on TAU2.

— How did you get to TAU2?

It was fate, there’s no other explanation…

I lived with a boyfriend for 8 years but the moment came when I realised that we were already drifting apart. We were sort of together and sort of not together. So, I was sitting at my computer, feeling blue, just punching the keys… And somehow I got to TAU2. I had no intention of meeting any men. I just thought that, perhaps, I could get a job there, maybe someone needs a translator and I can speak two languages…

In two months my relationship with that boyfriend finally ended and I thought of TAU2 and went there again. I always knew that I would never marry a Russian or Ukranian guy because they are not the kind of men I like. That’s why I was searching for someone from a far away place.

— Was it an intuitive feeling?

It’s just that men are different. I don’t understand our men. In the West men are different, I like them better. They treat women differently, with more respect. They are ready to give instead of saying ‘I’m a man, I want this’.

America was my last choice when it came to choosing a country to live in. I liked Europe better as it’s closer to home, closer to my mother. And now an ocean separates us… I wanted to go to Portugal, I like the way of life there, I know those people, their culture and traditions. But the Portugal men I met were interested in blondes and I’m not a blonde, I look different. I look like a Portuguese woman, I have dark skin, dark hair, I’m not tall and the Portugues men weren’t interested in me.

— Tell us about your husband. At what moment did you realise that this man was to become your husband?

My husband’s name is Ethan, he works for a medical company. On TAU2 he was the first to notice me — he put a heart on my profile. I replied to him, he wrote about himself, asked something and we started writing to each other.

We just talked, we talked a lot. There was no moment when I said to myself, ‘Oh! He’s the one!’. At first we wrote each other letters, then we talked on Skype, every day, then we met face to face. It wasn’t like we saw each other, embraced and kissed and — voila! — we’ve got it! Things developed gradually. Ethan suggested that we met in person. I still had a valid visa for Portugal, so I suggested that we would meet there.

— Do you remember the first time you saw him face to face?

It was an interesting moment. In reality he didn’t look like he looked on Skype. He even seemed shorter. During the first meeting it’s natural to feel nervous, it’s like meeting a stranger. All the previous experience of communicating with this person is forgotten, that is, one still remembers the information, but the emotions are erased, one has to get used to each other all over again.

For ten days we were together in Portugal. And when we returned home, we decided to apply for my visa because we realised that online communication wasn’t enough, we wanted more. When one isn’t twenty years old, one wants to have a family, not just to talk and to date. Then I was waiting for the visa for ten months, though sometimes it takes longer. On my flight to the USA I met a girl from Kazakhstan who had been waiting for two years to get her visa.

So, we started writing to each other in July 2009, we met in person at the end of that year. And on 29 October 2010 I was already in the USA. It happened to be his mother’s birthday and he even forgot to wish her a happy birthday. Poor mom! But she is good, she forgave him. His family was very nice to me.

Now I have the white American wedding band.

— Why is it white?

Everybody here has one like that, white gold is very popular. I didn’t want to look different. The wedding band is worn on the left hand, together with the engagement ring.

— I know that recently you have found a job…

This is my first job here, so it’s nothing special. I live in a small tourist town with the population of only 1,200 people. For a person with no experience there’s little choice of jobs. I don’t have any experience. In Portugal I worked at first as a housekeeper, then as a dentist assistant. But here it’s not easy to get a job, one needs American education certificates. That’s why I got a job at a laundry. I like it. The job is simple. The co-workers are great. Americans turned out to be even better than Portuguese as they don’t pry into one’s personal life. I’m a sociable person, but I don’t open my heart to strangers. And Americans just ask how things are going, talk about weather, about the latest news and that’s it.

— So, you like everything in your new homeland?

I live in paradise. First of all, the place itself is very beautiful. It’s even impossible to describe. Either I got to the place where I was destined to live or it’s a paradise wherever my loved one lives here. But I love it here. It’s a tourist destination, there’s woods, ocean, clean water, mountains. There are few people, few cars, no factories. Instead there are lots of animals and plants… Just like I said, it’s a real paradise.

— And how’s life in the paradise?

I got used to it gradually. I have already had a similar experience, I lived in Portugal for a long time. I got there ten years ago, started meeting people and got some ‘life experience’. So this time I was careful. I hid in the flat where we live like a turtle in its shell and only in four months I started leaving the house on my own.

My husband has two children who call me odd because everything I do looks funny to them, everything is strange, not the way they are used to. The way I dress, the way I walk, the way I cook, the way I eat — they find it all odd. Just like they seem a bit odd to me. But it doesn’t affect our relationship. I realise that I look strange to them, just like they look strange to me and we laugh about it.

— Lyudmila, what advice could you give to the women who have just started using TAU2?

First of all, learn the language. If your intentions are serious, learn the language. It’s very important. Because if you communicate with the help of a translator, then the translator works like a filter: everything positive and negative is filtered out. And you are left with the filtered stuff, lacking vitamins and the most tasty things.

As for the photos for the profile, it’s better to have them taken at a professional studio, don’t use home made photos. When the pictures look beautiful, then it’s not so important what is written in the profile. So have good pictures taken. Also, look after yourself, visit a beautician, so that the photos represent the real you well enough and aren’t just made to look pretty in Photoshop. It’s also very important to be able to see the eyes clearly on the photos. Men do pay attention to this.

It’s also important what you write about yourself. At first I wrote very simple things and nobody, not a single man, got interested in me. I started reading men’s profiles and found out that they are written so beautifully, there are a lot of adjectives. Then I re-wrote my profile, not just ‘I’m looking for love and a man’, but using pretty words. That is, it’s necessary to make the effort, to pay for professionally made photos, to take the time to write substantial information about yourself.

A couple more recommendations. When one comes here, the way of thinking changes. We tend to buy something more expensive, some famous brands, something glamorous. And here everyone tries to save a bit and to spend less money. That’s why I have some practical advice.

There’s no need to get a driver’s licence at home if you want to come here and drive a car because here it’s much cheaper. Also, unless you have loads of money, it’s not worth wasting it on attorneys. All paperwork can be simply and easily done without them. Attorneys demand lots of money, five thousand dollars and more, and that’s the money wasted.

We Fell In Love On The Web

Todd (Canada) — Tue, 10 Jan 2012 04:13:21 +0000

I had tried many different sites and found lots of scammers which honestly made me mad: it was such a waste of time and money. Then I saw a TAU2 ad and decided to give it a try. I’m so glad that I did! On TAU2 there are no scammers, all ladies are real people or at least seem like it. And I like that a lot!

What Men Want

On the site my attention was first of all drawn to those ladies who had a nice picture and a very descriptive profile. I looked at the picture first but it’s what was written in the profile that made me want to contact the lady or not. The more information in the profile the better. But good pictures are more important, it’s the photos that attract interest to the profile.

It’s important for the lady to know some English. I tried to communicate with a lady who knew only Russian and found it very hard. It’s not easy to overcome the language barrier, but everything depends on how serious you are about meeting a lady. Not all ladies on the site speak English. But if I find the lady attractive, I wouldn’t let language stop me! I’d learn Russian, she’d learn English and we would find a way to communicate.

It Was Her Who Chose Me

It just happened that my better half has chosen me. I have been on lots of sites and this was the first lady who came for me and said ‘I wanna know you!’. I knew she was the one after talking to her lots of hours on Skype. It took about a month before I knew it for sure. We had talked for about 6 months before deciding to marry.

Even before we met each other in person, just in case, we have discussed what we would do if in real life our relationship doesn’t work. But this didn’t happen as both of us have an extensive experience in dating, we are both committed to each other and know what we want out of life.

Be Honest and Sincere

Even by online communication only one can get to know a person well enough, but it takes a lot of work and you must remember there are no guarantees. Especially when the other person is from a different cultural background. The language barrier is a big problem. Work at it! Try with all your heart to communicate: learn Russian or whatever language your lady speaks. Above all BE NICE. Remember that she’s frustrated and trying hard, too.

And never ever give up! Online dating is not different from dating in your country. Treat the lady with respect, be nice and don’t play games. Ladies really respect this kind of attitude even if you are not interested in them.

Think and decide what you want out of life and in a lady. Be honest and sincere, write a very descriptive profile with lots of pictures and make sure that those are recent pics. Above all HAVE FUN! Good luck!

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I Didn’t Expect To Get Married So Soon

Marina (Barcelona, Spain) — Fri, 16 Dec 2011 04:00:00 +0000

Marina, a manager from Minsk, fell in love with Spain. She especially liked Barcelona, she was captivated by it at first sight. Marina had never thought that after her wedding she would live in Barcelona, but this is exactly what has happened. On TAU2 she met Placido, a businessman. He won her heart, they got married and have been living in Barcelona for almost three years now. Marina is very protective about her love story and even reluctant to show the photographs of her and Placido together.

I didn’t really mean to get married. My previous marriage was a difficult one. After getting the divorce, I started travelling a lot. I bought tours around Europe (I speak English fluently) and went to various countries until I ended up in Spain. When I got here, I fell in love with this country and started spending my vacation here every year, at various Spanish resorts, but always somewhere around Barcelona. I started learning Spanish immediately. I think it won’t do any good to have language practice only once a year. It’s necessary to look for some Spanish language websites and to communicate with people there. At first I practiced my Spanish and met people at other websites, then one of my friends told me about TAU2. At the time when I registered on TAU2 I was in love with Spain and didn’t have a boyfriend.

I immediately got letters from about ten men. But all of them were English speakers and I wasn’t interested. Spanish men on TAU2 were not particularly interested in me. Later I got into a correspondence with a man from Madrid who tried to win me over to the very last, but I almost immediately met my future husband.

Placido Looked Like A Mafioso

He just visited my profile. I was a bit dismayed when I saw his face: his sunglasses made him look like a Mafioso. But I looked at his other pictures and decided to give it a try. Anyway, I needed someone to communicate with. I chose a pretty postcard with a bench in a garden and wrote to him, ‘Let’s meet and get to know each other in this garden’. He replied to it straightaway and said that he had never expected to get my postcard and never hoped that such a beautiful woman would notice him.

I did have very beautiful pictures—this is very important. It’s the first thing that men pay attention to. But the pictures should be not just from a photo studio where you are made to look like a model. Pictures should reflect the reality, so that the man won’t get disappointed when meeting you in person.

Placido literally grasped me and started writing-writing-writing. We met on November 26 and November 30 is my birthday and I celebrated it at a Spanish restaurant. Placido liked it a lot that I’m interested in Spain. We exchanged the addresses and he started calling me, we talked on Skype. Placido helped me a lot with my Spanish, he didn’t speak any other language and at the time my Spanish wasn’t very good.

Placido Lost 17 Kilos To Win Me Over

On December 21 Placido already came to visit me. Later he told me that on TAU2 he had met a lot of girls and they all wanted him to invite them to come to Spain and to pay for their visit. As for me, when we started talking about meeting in person, I behaved differently. I simply had too much work at the time and couldn’t drop everything, so I told him, ‘Come to Minsk, if you like’. As soon as I said it, he called me the very next day and said that he was buying the ticket. That is, my invitation to come over for a visit was the decisive factor: I didn’t ask for the money, I wasn’t eager to go to Spain.

He brought a huge suitcase filled with food, presents for me and my son. And somehow everything went along naturally. I was who I was—at one’s own place the person is more transparent. One can’t say, ‘Oh, I’m so good at housekeeping!’, because it’s obvious how good one really is. Though I am indeed quite good at housekeeping, I can cook well, too, but I told him that in a new family I don’t want to be the cook, I’m tired of it. One shouldn’t lie, it’s necessary to be as natural as possible if one wants to find one’s other half. The more lies are made up, the worse the disappointment will be.

My husband says that when he saw me, he almost fainted because I was so beautiful. And I simply closed my eyes. I didn’t know how to react: I had never had a boyfriend who was so stout. I told to myself, ‘Well, you have invited this man to come over, you have seen his photos’. And he had written to me saying that he was overweight and very embarrassed by it. I had told him that losing weight was possible, but changing the personality was impossible. If one wants one’s body to slim down, it can be done, but as for the soul, no operation will work and no diet will help.

In three days I got used to him and from the very beginning I felt very comfortable in his company, but I decided to give us both the time and to see what would happen next. When he was leaving, he asked me if I was in a hurry to get married. I told him that I wasn’t, I was searching for the right man and he said that he wasn’t in a hurry either and we decided to spend the vacation together in six months. But as soon as he got to the airport, he called me and said, ‘I want you to become my wife’. In March, during the Easter holidays, he invited me to come over and have a look at his place, he proposed to me and put a ring on my finger—everything was the way it should be. But still I wasn’t ready. Even though I seemed to have everything I wanted: Spain, the man who was indeed divorced, a businessman, with a grown-up child. But to me it was still too fast and too early…

Placido lost 17 kilos. This was a very important factor which influenced my decision in his favour. I thought that this man had the willpower and truly loved me because a diet is a difficult thing, not every woman is capable of getting on a diet.

He asked me to just accept the ring and agreed to have the wedding in Belarus. He agreed to all my conditions. He proposed to me in a very beautiful place with a terrific sea view: ships and Barcelona in the background. In three months we got married.

Living In A Foreign Country Is Very Different From Just Visiting It

When I came to Barcelona, I already spoke Spanish, knew their way of life, their culture, their cuisine. I didn’t have a cultural shock like many people get. But it’s one thing to come for a visit. The country is beautiful, the climate is good, the food is tasty, the people are friendly, everything is fine. But once one starts living here, one sees a lot of drawbacks: few people here keep their word, few people are punctual, as for education, it’s a separate story.

At present I’m taking a course on tourism and help my husband with his business. In our situation there’s no need for me to look for a job in a hurry. In Europe there’s an economic crisis, it’s hard to find a job, the salaries are low, that’s why first of all I will finish the course and then we’ll see. If I can’t find a job, I’ll keep helping my husband with his business.

My piece of advice to women is, first of all, to learn the language of the country where you intend to go and to learn as much of it as possible at home. Then it will be much easier to adapt. Anyway, there will be a lot of little things that will be disappointing, revolting, painful. It’s like going through a meat grinder, that’s why it’s necessary to learn the language as best as you can.

Before moving to the new country, it’s necessary to do your best to learn the traditions of this country, its way of life. This will help you understand where you are going. And also try to visit that country several times to understand where you will live and what their life standard is. Also, don’t be shy to ask your future husband questions when you two decide to get married. Including the financial questions. How much money you will have, whether you’ll have to work or whether you can choose to work or not; if there are children, decide what you will do about them, it’s very important. It’s necessary to weigh everything, not just jump into a marriage as long as your husband is a foreigner. Here you will run into the same problems you have with our men.

Had I not married Placido straightaway, had I come to Spain and lived with him for six months to see how it would go, perhaps, I would have never married him because it was very hard. Both of us were grown-ups with our own habits and set in our ways, we had lived alone for quite a while and then… A strange, though a loved, person with his own ways and rules. A lot of times I had to be patient, to try to understand why my partner did or said that. Why is he sometimes so distant and unable to understand me? Woman’s wisdom helped me. Besides, being a very ambitious person, having quit a very good job in my country and being in love with my husband and with Spain, I thought that I wouldn’t give up so easily. I gave myself two years to get used to my husband and to adapt. Had it still been so hard, I wouldn’t have stayed here, wouldn’t have suffered any more, but would have gone back home, got my job back and continued to look for my other half. Time was passing and I didn’t even notice how I started making plans, getting ready to start the course and passed the exam for the driver’s licence.

Of course, I can’t say that everything is over and I’m totally Spanish now, but one thing I know for sure is that I have made the right choice when choosing my husband and the place to live.

Women should remember that they will build everything with their own hands. A relationship is a joint effort, but if one wants to be loved, one should take it in one’s own hands. If a man fell in love with the woman the way she was—with this slim figure, stunning looks, well manicured nails—then the woman should make the effort to stay this way, to be attractive and desired for her man.

Each woman is unique and beautiful in her own way and deserves to have the best. Just be patient while looking for you other half and believe that he is also looking for you.

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I Thought That After Sixty Marriage Was Not Possible

Anna (Spain) — Mon, 12 Dec 2011 04:49:32 +0000

Several years ago Anna decided that it was possible to look for her other half and find him only before the age of sixty. But things turned out differently and she found her beloved only after she had turned sixty. Anna has moved to Spain to live with her husband, they travel the country together, they walk many miles every day and can’t imagine their life without each other.

— When you started learning Spanish, did you think that you would marry a Spaniard?

No. When I was learning Spanish, I often spent my vacations in Spain. My friends offered to find me a Spanish husband, but I refused, I told them that I came there to just relax. They said, ‘But you like Spain!’ I told them, ‘Yes, I do like Spain, but I don’t want to meet any men because I want to be alone.’

My first marriage lasted for almost 30 years, but I was disappointed in my husband from the very beginning, he was very rude. I started thinking that all men are rude to women. When I got the divorce, I lived alone for many years and said that I would never have the guts to get married again, I was fine living on my own and all men are the same. But time passed, I changed my mind and decided to look for my better half abroad.

— And that was when you got registered on TAU2…

I was mainly interested in the men from Spain because I could speak the language a bit. Also, I like Spain, I know some people living there with whom I keep in touch. That’s why I was looking for dating sites on the internet and I found TAU2. I visited other dating sites, but my intuition told me that at those sites many things are not quite serious. And TAU2 is different, I immediately had a gut feeling that this site is for me. Besides, you always have something new, some new offers. It’s obvious that the site is constantly being developed, it’s updated, not like one just gets registered and starts communicating with people.

I was a bit concerned about my age, I was 59. I thought that if I couldn’t find anyone for a serious relationship by the time I turned sixty, no marriage would be possible once I got older. Because there are a lot of men in their sixties and seventies who are looking for eighteen to twenty-five year old women. And I thought that if something did come out of it, then it would happen before I turned sixty. But I was wrong.

On TAU2 I communicated with a lot of men — with Americans, with Spaniards, but with my would-be husband it was different, things got serious.

When my would-be husband wrote to me on TAU2 for the first time, I immediately had a feeling that he was the one. I even decided for myself that if nothing came out of this relationship, then I would simply delete my profile on the site and would keep living on my own.

— So, he was the one to initiate the correspondence?

No, I was the first one to write to him. I looked at his photos, I liked him and I wrote to him just a couple of words in Spanish, ‘Hello, how are you?’. He replied and I liked him. He didn’t write anything personal, just asked about the weather. I realised that he was a serious person.

Then we started writing to each other. But it was hard to exchange just the postcards, they have only a few phrases. That’s why he immediately bought access to my e-mail address and we started writing each other emails and talking on Skype. And Skype is different, one can see the person one is talking to. I realised that this man had serious intentions, he wasn’t a flirt. It wasn’t just virtual love.

— And then you met in person…

Yes, he said that he wanted to visit me in the Ukraine. He said, ‘Let’s break the glass and start talking’, Spanish have this saying. And he came.

I was meeting him at the airport and it seemed that half an hour turned into an eternity. Because I was both curious and nervous. He said, ‘Let’s break the glass’, but for me it was the other way around, I withdrew into myself. It wasn’t that I didn’t like him, but still, he was a stranger and Spanish people have this custom of hugging and kissing right in the street. I felt awkward about it, we weren’t some twenty year old kids after all. And he didn’t understand why I was so distant. Then we took a train to another city and I booked a hotel for him near my place and he spent ten days there. Before he left, we went and booked a wedding—we had understood each other.

But there was nothing extraordinary. I’m more romantic by nature and expected more romantic dates, but he’s so straightforward, like all men, and says what he thinks. Well, that’s the way he is. All his life Jesus worked as a critic and now he’s retired, but keeps working as an advisor at a writers union.

— Your husband has an interesting name…

Yes, there even was a little incident because of it. Jesus said that he wanted to get married in church. So, I went to the church and asked whether it was possible for us to get married if I’m a Russian Orthodox Christian and he’s Roman Catholic. The young minister said that yes, it’s okay, since we’re both Christian. Then he asked for the groom’s name and got scared. He said he had to ring his superiors to make sure it was okay to have a groom called Jesus. But his superiors told him to calm down, there is indeed such a name.

We got married, had a ceremony in church and I had to wait for the interview with the ambassador. We were asked various questions to make sure that our marriage was a genuine one. The ambassador talked to each one of us separately, asked both of us about our hobbies, the names of relatives, who was present at the wedding.

— Do you like living in Spain?

The part of Spain we live in is called Costa Verde, the Green Coast. It’s a very beautiful place in the north of Spain, on the seashore. There’s no snow, flowers are blooming all year round. People are very courteous, with good manners. Everything is the way I always liked. The place is very clean, very tidy.

But there were also problems, even in our relationship. When I came here, Jesus said, ‘It’s all yours, feel free to use it, feel at home here’. That was what he said and that was it. The next morning I got up, went into the kitchen and he was already having breakfast. I couldn’t understand how he could do it like that. But he thought that it was enough if he told me once to feel at home. When we went to visit his daughter, it was just the same. Such things are normal to them, but it was difficult for me to accept it.

My husband does cooking and cleaning. I offer to help, but he says there’s no need. It was also difficult for me, I had thought that these things were my duties. I found this so strange that I felt upset, I thought he didn’t respect me. I had to change the way I thought about things. But now all is well. Everyone gets up whenever one feels like it, but we have breakfast and lunch together.

— What about the children and grandchildren, what kind of relationship do you and your husband have with them?

My daughter and my son-in-law like my husband. Back in the Ukraine they talked to him through an interpreter, that is, me. Jesus doesn’t know a word of Russian or Ukranian. I translated for him, my Spanish is okay, though, of course, there are things I don’t know but Jesus helps me and always tells me that I should ask more questions.

The relationship with his children is also good. He has a son and a daughter, his grandchildren and even his children treat me well, they hug and kiss me.

We don’t have much time to spend with our relatives because we travel a lot, I want to see the country. We drive and when we don’t drive, we walk. Every day we walk 14 or 15 kilometres. There are a lot of parks here, eucalyptuses and fir-trees—what can be better for health than sea, eucalyptuses and fir-trees?

People here are different, too. Back in the Ukraine, when one comes to a doctor, the doctor tells him to stay in bed. It’s the opposite here, when one gets sick, one has to walk more. Compared to the men from the Ukraine, and even compared to Spaniards, my husband is much stronger and healthier.

— What would you like to tell the women who would read this interview?

I’d like to tell them that when talking to men, don’t say to them that our economy is bad, there’s poverty in the country. Just tell them that you’re looking for your better half, that you want to be happy. Not for the material gains because Western men get scared. Tell them, ‘I’m looking for my love, I want to get married, but I’m not looking for any riches’. And it’s even better not to talk about such things at all.

I read a lot of books on psychology and I believe that things are not accidental. If one has a goal, one has to keep going, it’s necessary to have faith and everything will turn out well. I’m fully convinced that this is indeed true.

We Were A Present For Each Other

Iryna (Simferopol, Ukraine) — Fri, 25 Nov 2011 04:03:02 +0000

I got to TAU2 by chance. I saw a link on one of the websites. It was at the time when I felt very sad. My job was going very well and everything seemed great but I sat there and thought that over the last four years I only had several dates simply because I’m immersed in my work, I give it my all because I am lucky to do what I love. «Why not try it?» I thought to myself and registered on TAU2.

I immediately realised that the site is very serious about its goals. Idle people looking for some amusement can’t just browse it. To see what TAU2 does, I had to fill out a huge and detailed questionnaire myself. When I saw my profile page, my first impression was that everything is very well organised here. All those icons, hearts, profiles with photos — all those quickly made TAU2 stand out among all the other dating sites and that’s why I stayed here.

Just at this time I caught cold and took a week off work, and that was it, it got started. I immediately started getting lots of postcards and letters. I answered every one of them. If the sender didn’t seem interesting at all, I hinted that I was already communicating with someone else and was not available.

I was creative about filling out my profile

Many men told me that my profile stood out, that it was original, though from my point of view there was nothing original about it. Of course, I was creative about filling it out, but I was also reserved. The information has to be specific, so that the person reading it can form an impression about you and can see what kind of person you’re looking for.

In about four weeks I got into a correspondence with a man who was very interesting to me. We communicated for a long time, for about nine months, everything was pretty serious but in the end it didn’t work out. After that I returned to TAU2 and renewed my profile. There were several men with whom I communicated, in the end there was only one left — my husband.

This wasn’t a blind date

Paul wrote his first letter to me on December 26, on Christmas Day. Sometimes we joke that we were a present for each other. He had an ordinary profile, only his interests were described very clearly. He wrote that he had been to the CIS countries, he understood our culture and he was interested in it. He wrote that he speaks Polish a little bit and is looking for a genuine relationship. Everything was very restrained, like a real man should be. In my opinion, the photos were not the best ones, but something about him attracted my attention.

He immediately stood out because during all the time that we were communicating on TAU2 and even afterwards, in the beginning, I never heard from him any unreasonably sweet words, any compliments with a possible double meaning. He showed that he liked me and was interested in me, he asked me various questions. I didn’t have a feeling that it was merely a flirt on the internet without anything serious in mind. In this man I felt something different. I can’t say that we immediately fell in love madly but we were genuinely interested in each other as a person and this interest gradually grew.

We wrote to each other for three months, we talked a lot — several hours a day on Skype. We spoke English, I speak it fluently. Then Paul came to visit. There was a spark between us the moment we saw each other, but, I repeat it again, we had already got to know each other and this was not at all a first date with a stranger. It’s interesting that I was on a very tight schedule. By the time I got from Simferopol to Kiev and, not knowing my way about the city, got to the flat where we had planned to stay, I was almost late meeting him at the airport. I didn’t even have the time to get nervous about how the first meeting would go. But as soon as I saw him, my panic vanished, our hands touched and that was it. From that moment on, everything was very natural, without a slightest feeling of discomfort. Now I think about it and can’t believe it.

Every day something interesting happened

In three months he came again, then I went to spend my vacation in Britain. I had been there before, but anyway another country is a different culture, different traditions, different food and a different way of life. Every day there was something interesting, something that I could understand and something that I couldn’t understand. It didn’t cause any major problems for me. But, again, I speak English, otherwise, perhaps, it would have been more difficult.

I came back home to wrap things up and to quit my job, then went to Paul again. The first emotions had already calmed down and it was a chance to look at each other and to see whether I would be really able to feel at home in this country. In three months we went to the Ukraine to get married. At present Paul is back to Britain and I stayed to get the paperwork done. I have to pass an English language test and get a wife’s visa. This visa gives the right to work and I want very much to do what I love. I have already done some research and found out that this is really possible.

Paul’s parents met me very cordially and it’s also important. It’s very nice if the parents of both spouses provide financial and moral support. We lived in the house of his parents for a couple of months before moving to our own house: we have bought one in Yorkshire.

Patience and understanding are necessary

To those who are looking for their other half, I’d like to wish patience — be patient with yourself and be patient with your potential partner. If one is really looking for the other half, one has to be reasonably open and not to be in a hurry to come to any conclusions even if the communication is very interesting. That is, the relationship can evolve, but it can also lead nowhere. But perhaps, everything will turn out really well, there will be a happy ending — a wedding, children, etc. It’s necessary to have patience, to have understanding, to have wisdom. It’s very important to remember that this person is from another country, he has different habits. Even if he’s deliberately looking for a wife from a Slavic country and realises why we are so special, it’s still necessary to remember about the difference in the ways of life.

It’s very important to speak the language. It’s not just important, it’s paramount. To know the language a little bit, to use the translator while writing to each other (if you understand each other and this is enough for you) is great. But when it really comes to getting married and moving to another country, the language becomes extremely important to make life in the new place less stressful. Because most women there still look for work, for friends, they want to have a career and to become successful. It’s impossible to learn a language in a week. That’s why the earlier you start, the better. And for the women who are psychologically ready to marry a foreigner, it’s better to start learning a language right away, regardless of whether they have already found their man or not yet. You will find your man for sure. The most important thing is to speak the language.

People change, adapting to each other, it’s necessary to talk and to explain the things that are really important and also it’s necessary to listen to your partner. One shouldn’t be selfish, and when having a relationship with a foreigner, not being selfish becomes even more important if you want to have a happy union. But on the other hand, one shouldn’t sacrifice one’s own interests. Compromise and total submission, giving up one’s own opinions and interests, are two very different things. If you keep each other interested and are attentive to each other, there’s a chance not only to find but also to keep your happy union.

How We Met Each Other

Olga (Portugal) — Wed, 09 Nov 2011 15:02:04 +0000

I registered on TAU2 out of curiosity rather than really hoping for success. I didn’t have the goal of getting married by all means and emigrating and I didn’t really think that this was possible. At one of the photo forums which I used sometimes because of my work, I saw an advertisement «Serious men from Europe». The advertisement popped up once, then again, and I decided to have a look and see what kind of men they were.

I immediately realised that the site was very good, very proper. First, one can’t enter it without registration. That is, there are no idle onlookers, nobody visits my profile just to have a look at it and even other female users can’t see it. Also, TAU2 has very good moderators. On other dating sites, when you publish your profile, people start writing disgusting things to you. There’s nothing like that on TAU2, it’s obvious that the site is well moderated and any indecency is simply impossible.

However It Wasn’t That Easy

I quickly put together my profile, added the first photo I could find and, looking forward to lots of attention, started waiting for the men to contact me. I don’t remember how long I was waiting but I got no letters. Not a single one. I even thought that, perhaps, I did something wrong and I checked the message settings, but all the settings were correct. Except not a single man was interested in the humble me…

Then I decided to be creative about presenting myself. I chose the photographs that showed what I do in life and not just a sweet but meaningless portrait.

It took more effort to brush up my profile. It had to be translated into English. This task was too important for a brainless electronic translator to be entrusted with it. I needed a correct word-by-word translation. This was not an easy task, considering the scanty remains of my English skills left after my college studies (I didn’t study English at the secondary school). Even now I am not sure I have managed to do a good job of it. But I have tried not only to list my personal details but also to tell about my life views.

After that I received two or three postcards. It looked like the times of fairy tales, when young girls sat by a castle window and young men on mighty stallions competed for their attention, were long past. One has to be active to succeed. So I started studying the potential candidates.

I have prepared unique postcards that I made myself. I have thought about the questions to which even a short answer would show what kind of person this is. When selecting the candidates, I paid more attention to what they told about themselves rather than to their photographs because I know how misleading a picture can be, especially if taken by an amateur photographer.

I got answers pretty much from everybody I had written to. They were nice and friendly. But Joao was one of the first men I got interested in. And the first man who wrote me a big letter. He wrote such interesting things in such an original way that it was impossible to answer briefly and superficially, he made me think about every word. After writing back to him, I had neither the time, nor the energy, nor the desire to answer any other messages. We communicated every day and discussed everything: from the Women’s Day on March 8 to the paintings of Goya, we also talked about housekeeping and some everyday things. We had common interests and communication was easy and interesting. Then we started calling each other and talking online. Five months passed from the moment we got acquainted to the moment we met in Lisbon. And when I was on my way to meet Joao, I already had a feeling that this was something serious.

All that time we used English to communicate. I used the translator on the site for communication, it’s very convenient. But all those months I was studying English like crazy, using all possible methods. As a result, I was able to hold a simple conversation and since then I have made a significant progress and still use English. But at present I am gradually starting to use the Portuguese words and phrases that I manage to learn. It’s a funny mix of languages at present, but I hope that later Portuguese will take the place of my weak English and I will be able to speak the native tongue of my husband fluently.

Portugal and Moving There

I like Portugal very much. Local people are very friendly and the country itself is strikingly beautiful. I keep noticing little things, little details that the locals must have got used to long ago but I still find them fascinating. It’s such a pleasure to look at all those courtyards, little houses with windows that have no bars and probably have never had any bars. The place is very cosy, small and right out of a fairy tale. I realise that Europe is probably full of such places but anyway Portugal is like the first love to me.

The first days in Portugal I spent on a road: we went driving all over the country. Travelling together quickly shows what kind of a person you are with and you can see how this person behaves in some difficult situations. The better I got to know Joao, the more it felt like he was just the person I’d like to see by my side. And this feeling is still there, my feelings towards my husband keep evolving.

On my first visit I spent over three months in Portugal. My daughter stayed in Russia and missed me very much, but I couldn’t come back earlier because legalization of documents in Europe takes a very long time and without it one can’t get the registration. Had I known about this before the trip, I would have got apostille stamps on all my documents, from passport to diplomas, in Russia. This would have saved both time and money.

On my next visit to Portugal I took my daughter with me and I went there to stay. The only problem we had was the difficulties with the entry visas. The necessary requirement was to have had a job for at least six months with a salary of at least thirty thousand roubles. I don’t know who came up with these rules, but according to them, our whole region can’t leave the country. I lived in Stavropol where an average salary is seven or eight thousand roubles at best. And as for me, I didn’t have a salary at all, I was a freelancer because it suited me better…

But we have found a solution: we bought a travel tour, this is the best way for a person who, like myself, had never before been abroad. And we bought the tour in Lisbon, it was even cheaper this way.

Joao’s family was very nice to us. I was very lucky to get such a mother-in-law, she’s very friendly. At first I didn’t even understand what they were talking about between themselves but it’s still very obvious how people treat you. My daughter and I have easily adapted to the new place. She goes to school, I spend a lot of time and effort on learning Portuguese because it’s impossible to find a job without being able to speak the language. Recently we bought a spacious apartment, with three bedrooms, in the very centre of the city, with windows overlooking an ancient castle.

Of course, there were difficulties. For example, I couldn’t do the simplest things on my own, like taking my child to the doctor. We still go to the doctor all together, it’s kind of a family outing.

The second problem is the cuisine, in Portugal it’s very different. Of course, I have given my husband a taste for the borscht. But in general Portuguese consider the Russian cuisine too fatty, too rich in calories. They don’t eat butter. And even if they do make soup, it’s a vegetable soup, puréed in a blender. It took me a long time to get used to this.

Another problem is the cold. There is no central heating or radiators here, only a fireplace. Of course, a fireplace is pretty, it’s pleasant to look at the fire and to warm up by it, but it burns out quickly and that’s it, it’s cold again. And the winters aren’t that warm. I’m always cold. The problem seems funny, but it does exist. I have even drawn a stove and asked my husband how come such a clever nation still can’t figure out how to make a stove.

But the main thing is the change of life pace. I used to be on the go all the time and now I’m stuck at home and don’t know when this will be over. On the other hand, yes, I used to have an interesting job, a full, cheerful life, but, come to think of it, I didn’t have a feeling that everything was well. If I’m unemployed now, this is the price I have to pay for being happy in my family life.

My Piece of Advice

To all those who are looking for their other half, I have only one advice: look for the person with whom you have something in common. You need to look for a certain personality rather than for a person from a particular country or, which is even worse, choosing a person based on his picture. We went on a trip to Spain and saw a vineyard with a rich, beautiful house there. So, a girl sees the photo of a man with such a house in the background. Of course, it looks nice. And then she marries that rich Spaniard and what does she see there? The house is in the middle of nowhere and her expectations were wrong. That’s why you have to know exactly what you want and to base your search on this.

In general, we, women, have two problems: fear and passivity. We would rather sit and bemoan our hard life. But one has to do something about it, to keep trying. I don’t mean to lower your expectations, this is important, too. But to be more tolerant of men. They are different, there are a lot of men who are not the way we would like them to be, but not all of them are like that!
The appearance of dating websites is a godsend. It’s a wonderful invention and people should use it even if the search fails. If it failed once, it will succeed the next time. Keep trying!