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	<title>TAU2 Blog &#187; Marina (Barcelona, Spain)</title>
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	<description>Real life stories and solid advice — from registration on the site to registration of your marriage</description>
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		<title>I Didn’t Expect To Get Married So Soon</title>
		<link>http://blog.tau2.com/2011/just-married/i-didn%e2%80%99t-expect-to-get-married-so-soon/?utm_source=rss&#038;utm_medium=rss&#038;utm_campaign=i-didn%25e2%2580%2599t-expect-to-get-married-so-soon</link>
		<comments>http://blog.tau2.com/2011/just-married/i-didn%e2%80%99t-expect-to-get-married-so-soon/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 16 Dec 2011 04:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Marina (Barcelona, Spain)]]></dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Just Married!]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[<p>Marina, a&#160;manager from Minsk, fell in&#160;love with Spain. She especially liked Barcelona, she was captivated by&#160;it&#160;at&#160;first sight. Marina had never thought that after her wedding she would live in&#160;Barcelona, but this is&#160;exactly what has happened. On&#160;TAU2 she met Placido, a&#160;businessman. He&#160;won her heart, they got married and have been living in&#160;Barcelona for almost three years now. Marina is&#160;very protective about her love story and even reluctant to&#160;show the photographs of&#160;her and Placido together.</p> <p></p> <p></p> <p>I didn&#8217;t really mean to&#160;get married. My&#160;previous marriage was a&#160;difficult one. After getting the divorce, I&#160;started travelling a&#160;lot. I&#160;bought tours around Europe (I&#160;speak English fluently) and went to&#160;various countries until&#160;I ended up&#160;in&#160;Spain. When I&#160;got here, I&#160;fell in&#160;love with this country and started spending my&#160;vacation here every year, at&#160;various Spanish resorts, but always somewhere around Barcelona. I&#160;started learning Spanish immediately. I&#160;think it&#160;won&#8217;t do&#160;any good to&#160;have language practice only once a&#160;year. It&#8217;s necessary to&#160;look for some Spanish language websites and to&#160;communicate with people there. At&#160;first&#160;I practiced my&#160;Spanish and met people at&#160;other websites, then one of&#160;my&#160;friends told me&#160;about TAU2. At&#160;the time when&#160;I registered on&#160;TAU2&#160;I was in&#160;love with Spain and didn&#8217;t have a&#160;boyfriend.</p> <p>I immediately got letters from about ten men. But all of&#160;them were English speakers and&#160;I wasn&#8217;t [...]]]></description>
				<content:encoded><![CDATA[<blockquote><p>Marina, a&nbsp;manager from Minsk, fell in&nbsp;love with Spain. She especially liked Barcelona, she was captivated by&nbsp;it&nbsp;at&nbsp;first sight. Marina had never thought that after her wedding she would live in&nbsp;Barcelona, but this is&nbsp;exactly what has happened. On&nbsp;TAU2 she met Placido, a&nbsp;businessman. He&nbsp;won her heart, they got married and have been living in&nbsp;Barcelona for almost three years now. Marina is&nbsp;very protective about her love story and even reluctant to&nbsp;show the photographs of&nbsp;her and Placido together.</p></blockquote>
<p><span id="more-1538"></span></p>
<p><img src="http://blog.tau2.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/0_2.jpg" alt="" title="Marina and Placido" width="300" height="441" class="alignright size-full wp-image-1875" /></p>
<p>I didn&rsquo;t really mean to&nbsp;get married. My&nbsp;previous marriage was a&nbsp;difficult one. After getting the divorce, I&nbsp;started travelling a&nbsp;lot. I&nbsp;bought tours around Europe (I&nbsp;speak English fluently) and went to&nbsp;various countries until&nbsp;I ended up&nbsp;in&nbsp;Spain. When I&nbsp;got here, I&nbsp;fell in&nbsp;love with this country and started spending my&nbsp;vacation here every year, at&nbsp;various Spanish resorts, but always somewhere around Barcelona. I&nbsp;started learning Spanish immediately. I&nbsp;think it&nbsp;won&rsquo;t do&nbsp;any good to&nbsp;have language practice only once a&nbsp;year. It&rsquo;s necessary to&nbsp;look for some Spanish language websites and to&nbsp;communicate with people there. At&nbsp;first&nbsp;I practiced my&nbsp;Spanish and met people at&nbsp;other websites, then one of&nbsp;my&nbsp;friends told me&nbsp;about TAU2. At&nbsp;the time when&nbsp;I registered on&nbsp;TAU2&nbsp;I was in&nbsp;love with Spain and didn&rsquo;t have a&nbsp;boyfriend.</p>
<p>I immediately got letters from about ten men. But all of&nbsp;them were English speakers and&nbsp;I wasn&rsquo;t interested. Spanish men on&nbsp;TAU2 were not particularly interested in&nbsp;me. Later I&nbsp;got into a&nbsp;correspondence with a&nbsp;man from Madrid who tried to&nbsp;win me&nbsp;over to&nbsp;the very last, but&nbsp;I almost immediately met my&nbsp;future husband.</p>
<h2>Placido Looked Like A&nbsp;Mafioso</h2>
<p>He just visited my&nbsp;profile. I&nbsp;was a&nbsp;bit dismayed when&nbsp;I saw his face: his sunglasses made him look like a&nbsp;Mafioso. But I&nbsp;looked at&nbsp;his other pictures and decided to&nbsp;give it&nbsp;a&nbsp;try. Anyway, I&nbsp;needed someone to&nbsp;communicate with. I&nbsp;chose a&nbsp;pretty postcard with a&nbsp;bench in&nbsp;a&nbsp;garden and wrote to&nbsp;him, &lsquo;Let&rsquo;s meet and get to&nbsp;know each other in&nbsp;this garden&rsquo;. He&nbsp;replied to&nbsp;it&nbsp;straightaway and said that he&nbsp;had never expected to&nbsp;get my&nbsp;postcard and never hoped that such a&nbsp;beautiful woman would notice him.</p>
<p>I did have very beautiful pictures&mdash;this is&nbsp;very important. It&rsquo;s the first thing that men pay attention&nbsp;to. But the pictures should be&nbsp;not just from a&nbsp;photo studio where you are made to&nbsp;look like a&nbsp;model. Pictures should reflect the reality, so&nbsp;that the man won&rsquo;t get disappointed when meeting you in&nbsp;person.</p>
<p>Placido literally grasped me&nbsp;and started writing-writing-writing. We&nbsp;met on&nbsp;November 26&nbsp;and November 30&nbsp;is my&nbsp;birthday and&nbsp;I celebrated it&nbsp;at&nbsp;a&nbsp;Spanish restaurant. Placido liked it&nbsp;a&nbsp;lot that I&rsquo;m interested in&nbsp;Spain. We&nbsp;exchanged the addresses and he&nbsp;started calling&nbsp;me, we&nbsp;talked on&nbsp;Skype. Placido helped me&nbsp;a&nbsp;lot with my&nbsp;Spanish, he&nbsp;didn&rsquo;t speak any other language and at&nbsp;the time my&nbsp;Spanish wasn&rsquo;t very good.</p>
<h2>Placido Lost&nbsp;17 Kilos To&nbsp;Win Me&nbsp;Over</h2>
<p>On December&nbsp;21 Placido already came to&nbsp;visit&nbsp;me. Later he&nbsp;told me&nbsp;that on&nbsp;TAU2&nbsp;he had met a&nbsp;lot of&nbsp;girls and they all wanted him to&nbsp;invite them to&nbsp;come to&nbsp;Spain and to&nbsp;pay for their visit. As&nbsp;for&nbsp;me, when we&nbsp;started talking about meeting in&nbsp;person, I&nbsp;behaved differently. I&nbsp;simply had too much work at&nbsp;the time and couldn&rsquo;t drop everything, so&nbsp;I told him, &lsquo;Come to&nbsp;Minsk, if&nbsp;you like&rsquo;. As&nbsp;soon as&nbsp;I said&nbsp;it, he&nbsp;called me&nbsp;the very next day and said that he&nbsp;was buying the ticket. That&nbsp;is, my&nbsp;invitation to&nbsp;come over for a&nbsp;visit was the decisive factor: I&nbsp;didn&rsquo;t ask for the money, I&nbsp;wasn&rsquo;t eager to&nbsp;go&nbsp;to&nbsp;Spain.</p>
<p>He brought a&nbsp;huge suitcase filled with food, presents for me&nbsp;and my&nbsp;son. And somehow everything went along naturally. I&nbsp;was who&nbsp;I was&mdash;at one&rsquo;s own place the person is&nbsp;more transparent. One can&rsquo;t say, &lsquo;Oh, I&rsquo;m so&nbsp;good at&nbsp;housekeeping!&rsquo;, because it&rsquo;s obvious how good one really&nbsp;is. Though I&nbsp;am indeed quite good at&nbsp;housekeeping, I&nbsp;can cook well, too, but&nbsp;I told him that in&nbsp;a&nbsp;new family&nbsp;I don&rsquo;t want to&nbsp;be&nbsp;the cook, I&rsquo;m tired of&nbsp;it. One shouldn&rsquo;t lie, it&rsquo;s necessary to&nbsp;be&nbsp;as&nbsp;natural as&nbsp;possible if&nbsp;one wants to&nbsp;find one&rsquo;s other half. The more lies are made&nbsp;up, the worse the disappointment will be.</p>
<p>My husband says that when he&nbsp;saw&nbsp;me, he&nbsp;almost fainted because&nbsp;I was so&nbsp;beautiful. And I&nbsp;simply closed my&nbsp;eyes. I&nbsp;didn&rsquo;t know how to&nbsp;react: I&nbsp;had never had a&nbsp;boyfriend who was so&nbsp;stout. I&nbsp;told to&nbsp;myself, &lsquo;Well, you have invited this man to&nbsp;come over, you have seen his photos&rsquo;. And he&nbsp;had written to&nbsp;me&nbsp;saying that he&nbsp;was overweight and very embarrassed by&nbsp;it. I&nbsp;had told him that losing weight was possible, but changing the personality was impossible. If&nbsp;one wants one&rsquo;s body to&nbsp;slim down, it&nbsp;can be&nbsp;done, but as&nbsp;for the soul, no&nbsp;operation will work and no&nbsp;diet will help.</p>
<p>In three days&nbsp;I got used to&nbsp;him and from the very beginning&nbsp;I felt very comfortable in&nbsp;his company, but&nbsp;I decided to&nbsp;give&nbsp;us both the time and to&nbsp;see what would happen next. When he&nbsp;was leaving, he&nbsp;asked me&nbsp;if&nbsp;I was in&nbsp;a&nbsp;hurry to&nbsp;get married. I&nbsp;told him that&nbsp;I wasn&rsquo;t, I&nbsp;was searching for the right man and he&nbsp;said that he&nbsp;wasn&rsquo;t in&nbsp;a&nbsp;hurry either and we&nbsp;decided to&nbsp;spend the vacation together in&nbsp;six months. But as&nbsp;soon as&nbsp;he&nbsp;got to&nbsp;the airport, he&nbsp;called me&nbsp;and said, &lsquo;I want you to&nbsp;become my&nbsp;wife&rsquo;. In&nbsp;March, during the Easter holidays, he&nbsp;invited me&nbsp;to&nbsp;come over and have a&nbsp;look at&nbsp;his place, he&nbsp;proposed to&nbsp;me&nbsp;and put a&nbsp;ring on&nbsp;my&nbsp;finger&mdash;everything was the way it&nbsp;should&nbsp;be. But still&nbsp;I wasn&rsquo;t ready. Even though&nbsp;I seemed to&nbsp;have everything I&nbsp;wanted: Spain, the man who was indeed divorced, a&nbsp;businessman, with a&nbsp;grown-up child. But to&nbsp;me&nbsp;it&nbsp;was still too fast and too early&#8230;</p>
<p>Placido lost 17&nbsp;kilos. This was a&nbsp;very important factor which influenced my&nbsp;decision in&nbsp;his favour. I&nbsp;thought that this man had the willpower and truly loved me&nbsp;because a&nbsp;diet is&nbsp;a&nbsp;difficult thing, not every woman is&nbsp;capable of&nbsp;getting on&nbsp;a&nbsp;diet.</p>
<p>He asked me&nbsp;to&nbsp;just accept the ring and agreed to&nbsp;have the wedding in&nbsp;Belarus. He&nbsp;agreed to&nbsp;all my&nbsp;conditions. He&nbsp;proposed to&nbsp;me&nbsp;in&nbsp;a&nbsp;very beautiful place with a&nbsp;terrific sea view: ships and Barcelona in&nbsp;the background. In&nbsp;three months we&nbsp;got married.</p>
<h2>Living In&nbsp;A&nbsp;Foreign Country Is&nbsp;Very Different From Just Visiting It</h2>
<p>When I&nbsp;came to&nbsp;Barcelona, I&nbsp;already spoke Spanish, knew their way of&nbsp;life, their culture, their cuisine. I&nbsp;didn&rsquo;t have a&nbsp;cultural shock like many people get. But it&rsquo;s one thing to&nbsp;come for a&nbsp;visit. The country is&nbsp;beautiful, the climate is&nbsp;good, the food is&nbsp;tasty, the people are friendly, everything is&nbsp;fine. But once one starts living here, one sees a&nbsp;lot of&nbsp;drawbacks: few people here keep their word, few people are punctual, as&nbsp;for education, it&rsquo;s a&nbsp;separate story.</p>
<p>At present I&rsquo;m taking a&nbsp;course on&nbsp;tourism and help my&nbsp;husband with his business. In&nbsp;our situation there&rsquo;s no&nbsp;need for me&nbsp;to&nbsp;look for a&nbsp;job in&nbsp;a&nbsp;hurry. In&nbsp;Europe there&rsquo;s an&nbsp;economic crisis, it&rsquo;s hard to&nbsp;find a&nbsp;job, the salaries are low, that&rsquo;s why first of&nbsp;all&nbsp;I will finish the course and then we&rsquo;ll see. If&nbsp;I&nbsp;can&rsquo;t find a&nbsp;job, I&rsquo;ll keep helping my&nbsp;husband with his business.</p>
<p>My piece of&nbsp;advice to&nbsp;women&nbsp;is, first of&nbsp;all, to&nbsp;learn the language of&nbsp;the country where you intend to&nbsp;go&nbsp;and to&nbsp;learn as&nbsp;much of&nbsp;it&nbsp;as&nbsp;possible at&nbsp;home. Then it&nbsp;will be&nbsp;much easier to&nbsp;adapt. Anyway, there will be&nbsp;a&nbsp;lot of&nbsp;little things that will be&nbsp;disappointing, revolting, painful. It&rsquo;s like going through a&nbsp;meat grinder, that&rsquo;s why it&rsquo;s necessary to&nbsp;learn the language as&nbsp;best as&nbsp;you can.</p>
<p>Before moving to&nbsp;the new country, it&rsquo;s necessary to&nbsp;do&nbsp;your best to&nbsp;learn the traditions of&nbsp;this country, its way of&nbsp;life. This will help you understand where you are going. And also try to&nbsp;visit that country several times to&nbsp;understand where you will live and what their life standard&nbsp;is. Also, don&rsquo;t be&nbsp;shy to&nbsp;ask your future husband questions when you two decide to&nbsp;get married. Including the financial questions. How much money you will have, whether you&rsquo;ll have to&nbsp;work or&nbsp;whether you can choose to&nbsp;work or&nbsp;not; if&nbsp;there are children, decide what you will do&nbsp;about them, it&rsquo;s very important. It&rsquo;s necessary to&nbsp;weigh everything, not just jump into a&nbsp;marriage as&nbsp;long as&nbsp;your husband is&nbsp;a&nbsp;foreigner. Here you will run into the same problems you have with our men.</p>
<p>Had I&nbsp;not married Placido straightaway, had&nbsp;I come to&nbsp;Spain and lived with him for six months to&nbsp;see how it&nbsp;would&nbsp;go, perhaps, I&nbsp;would have never married him because it&nbsp;was very hard. Both of&nbsp;us were grown-ups with our own habits and set in&nbsp;our ways, we&nbsp;had lived alone for quite a&nbsp;while and then&#8230; A&nbsp;strange, though a&nbsp;loved, person with his own ways and rules. A&nbsp;lot of&nbsp;times&nbsp;I had to&nbsp;be&nbsp;patient, to&nbsp;try to&nbsp;understand why my&nbsp;partner did or&nbsp;said that. Why is&nbsp;he&nbsp;sometimes so&nbsp;distant and unable to&nbsp;understand&nbsp;me? Woman&rsquo;s wisdom helped&nbsp;me. Besides, being a&nbsp;very ambitious person, having quit a&nbsp;very good job in&nbsp;my&nbsp;country and being in&nbsp;love with my&nbsp;husband and with Spain, I&nbsp;thought that&nbsp;I wouldn&rsquo;t give up&nbsp;so&nbsp;easily. I&nbsp;gave myself two years to&nbsp;get used to&nbsp;my&nbsp;husband and to&nbsp;adapt. Had it&nbsp;still been so&nbsp;hard, I&nbsp;wouldn&rsquo;t have stayed here, wouldn&rsquo;t have suffered any more, but would have gone back home, got my&nbsp;job back and continued to&nbsp;look for my&nbsp;other half. Time was passing and&nbsp;I didn&rsquo;t even notice how&nbsp;I started making plans, getting ready to&nbsp;start the course and passed the exam for the driver&rsquo;s licence.</p>
<p>Of course, I&nbsp;can&rsquo;t say that everything is&nbsp;over and I&rsquo;m totally Spanish now, but one thing&nbsp;I know for sure is&nbsp;that&nbsp;I have made the right choice when choosing my&nbsp;husband and the place to&nbsp;live.</p>
<p>Women should remember that they will build everything with their own hands. A&nbsp;relationship is&nbsp;a&nbsp;joint effort, but if&nbsp;one wants to&nbsp;be&nbsp;loved, one should take it&nbsp;in&nbsp;one&rsquo;s own hands. If&nbsp;a&nbsp;man fell in&nbsp;love with the woman the way she was&mdash;with this slim figure, stunning looks, well manicured nails&mdash;then the woman should make the effort to&nbsp;stay this way, to&nbsp;be&nbsp;attractive and desired for her man.</p>
<p>Each woman is&nbsp;unique and beautiful in&nbsp;her own way and deserves to&nbsp;have the best. Just be&nbsp;patient while looking for you other half and believe that he&nbsp;is&nbsp;also looking for you.</p>
<p>[portfolio_slideshow exclude_featured=true id=1308 exclude=1767,1764,1747,1873,1875]</p>

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